The Colbert Report/Episode/532
Production Info |- |} |- |} The Check-In * Dr. Colbert welcomes back His Jewish Friend from the break * Stephen collects cars, not classics per se ** owns several mid-sized sedans ** 22 Buick La Crosses(s) Intro America's Border * hopes Americans are snug in their bunkers * Stephen goes sky kiting in one week ** The nation goes down the toilet (or El Shittero) * violence between drug cartels in Mexico ** John McCain's hometown became the kidnap capitol * left unchecked explosion of violence and drugs ** explosion of Lou Dobbs' head * Obama doesn't get it ** considering National Guard on the border * Stephen says that's not ** just do it, consider it later along with excuses * hundreds of Americans are already in Mexico ** taking shots for their country Hey, Good Lookin'! * Obama said We are the people, we've been ** we look great * our moment of great narcissism * if we're not great, why does the world need up to the minute of everything we're doing? ** updates facebook status *** and tweeted about updating his Facebook * some decry our narcissism * Bloomberg news anti-narcissism ** not what founder Michael Bloomberg * Dr. Drew decries celebrity narcissism ** on his show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew * being anti-narcissist is anti-America ** self confidence ** extreme good looks to rebuild this country * after considering the question * slate magazine Emily Yoffe wrote about narcissism ** Emily Yoffe * she wanted to see her name in print ** specifically Narcissistic Personality Disorder * symptoms ** think they're better ** sexier ** the world should bow down to them all the time * Stephen wonders what's wrong with it if it's true * a society filled with narcissists lack worshipers * narcissism is a cultural virus * economic disaster due to narcissist personality disorder * the economy and market is based on confidence ** just pretend everything is okay ** the market and the bubble would come back * she calls John Edwards a narcissist * all leaders need certain levels of narcissist ** Gandhi, nothing more narcissistic than drinking one's own urine SEGMENT3 * Dr. Colbert a few weeks ago called out for The Nation ** Code Alpha Sierra * a space node is a node-like structure connected to other nodes in space, etc. * The people have spoken and they've chose "COLBERT" ** spirit of cooperation (didn't expect a whole bunch of people to get together and work against you) * Serenity, that's not a space station that's an adult diaper ** great for watching March Madness without getting up * a hero has stepped forward: Chaka Fattah ** insisted on democracy in orbit! * if we bring democracy to space, one day we can bring it to Minnesota * Fattah was an early it-getter (he appeared on Better Know A District) * Stephen urges Fattah's call for democracy in space * Dr. Colbert will seize space as an evil tyrant overlord! Interview * Derrick Pitts ** Chief Astronomer, The Franklin Observatory (a giant telescope and earmark) ** Telescopic Tube * is an astronomer curated an exhibit on Galileo, Stephen will torture him until he recants * Dr. Colbert is a taurus ** Pitts predicts bad things * the moon will align with Mars * could take Neil deGrasse Tyson in a cage match * knows Chaka Fattah * believes NASA has to figure it out ** and that it's a great idea * heretic, tried to undermine the word of God * only accused of heresy ** didn't want the Church to reject Copernican solar system * the Bible proves Galileo is wrong * when you go outside and see the sun moving, that is empirical evidence * what did galileo do that was so great ** used the telescope * Pitts brought a replica of * touch it with gloves on, to keep the heresy from getting on him * could see Jupiter, Saturn, the Moon and Venus * saw 4 moons of Jupiter * the gloves inspired * the Church forgave Galileo in 1992 ** overwhelming proof ** only took 400 years * if Stephen doesn't accept it, he out-Popes the Pope * if Stephen accepts only the physical rules that he wants, does that make him a narcissist? ** moves him closer to being the supreme ruler of the universe Epilogue * If you're just joining, pretend that you've been applauding Dr. Colbert for the last 30 minutes Gallery Image:SCSmirk.jpg Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments